Today... 0/10.
I keep bursting out in sudden floods of tears.
I'm as unstable as this stupid British weather T__T
But I can't bring myself to be strong.
I need to drink more milk and eat more cheese. Build up more strength so that I can handle all this imaginary shit I'm making up in my head. >.<"
Tbh looking back on this past year... I've been the biggest fool.
I thought there was genuinely something special.
But it's like something that could have happened to anyone.. >.<
I've definitely invented this whole thing between us...
How stupid am I? -.-
Yet I can't tell rewrite the ending of this fairytale. T__T
I really want to erase everything.
Why can't I find a big enough pencil to erase all the memories?
Why is it that I can't let go? :(
WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
You've broken my brain. My simple brain that can only think about you.
I feel like I've stepped into quicksand and can't remove myself. I'm stuck.
Everyday there's a constant battle between my heart and my brain. >.<"
My brain tells me you're a fucking dick and I'm a frigging naive bitch that needs to get a grip and walk away. But my heart is being stubborn.
He won't let my brain win.
My heart just keeps loving... ><"
My mum said my eyes looked sad the other day.
But no matter how much I smile, it's not the same.
I'm slowly hating myself...
I hate being pathetic.
People can live in poverty, live with a terminal illness or live in even worse conditions and they're all living better than me.
Snap out of it, Alaine. Seriously. You should hate him.
You can't even cry to anyone because you're so ashamed of these feelings.
You wait until you're family all go to bed until you cry.
I'm pretty sure that what's left of your heart is left in the gutters to rot.
I just want someone to come and pick my heart up and brush off the dirt and think it's actually not too bad and treasure it.
Otherwise, this heart will disappear.
It won't be able to love again.
