14.12.2011
Weather: Cold and windy but there's no snow :(
Well it is currently 1am in the morning..
I am writing this as I am watching the Big Bang Theory in the living room of the house I am living in for my freshers year at university..
YES I KNOW! I MADE IT TO UNIVERSITY! I am at the University of Hull! ^^
I am loving life here.. it's so different to how I expected life to be.. And I reckon updating my 'dry-like-the-toes-of-a-camel' love life..
I don't know what Hull as done to me.. but I've certainly got.. erm lucky? >.< Is that the right way to describe my supposed "promiscuous" lifestyle now?! =_____=" I don't know how to put it.. But well my slag score has certainly risen.. *awkward starfish*
It's so weird though like I didn't know how this all happened...
Firstly, Freshers week! I didn't even get any attention! NOTHING. ZILCH. So dry I might as well have been padlocked up in a dungeon with a chasity lock! :/ but no I merely got bum groped... MEH. Screw freshers week!
31.12.12 and it's currently 1:37 (continuation)
But yeah so freshers week was a mild one.. a bit like parmasan.. Only later on in the semester did it evolve into something exotic like stilton! (is it even evolve?! OHHH it's mature haha >.<") well mature then!
Roll on the School themed night at the union ^__^ and well one of my housemates told me a secret. It was a horrible secret though. Apparently this other housemate liked me. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW gross gross gross! Like >.<" no offence to him but like he definitely is NOT my cup of tea! Like he's really not what I look for in a guy. I have issues as well. Commitment and intimacy issues. So I can't deal with people liking me either?!?! :/ sounds bizarre but like it's me so errrr awkward?? >.< and so I walked away from the housemate and went straight to the dance floor. This is where Guy number 1 came into the scene. He's a third year Economics student and he was hot. ^____~ I'm not going to lie, he is SO HOT! His friend walked past and decided to er grind with me?! I didn't have a say in this I promise >.<" and the Guy number 1 told me I was beautiful! ^___^ and that he couldn't take his eyes off me! Hahaha! His friend then proceeded to tell me to dance with Guy number 1... and I did. It was proper dirty dancing... and then we might have been really close. Like so close that when you stare at each other you kinda go cross-eyed?! >.< HAHA and he may have tilted my chin up and BAM. We may have got off. Well lets say his hands were all over my butt like a magnet. >.<" and well you might judge me for letting him do this, but I promise you I wasn't paid so I am NOT, I repeat NOT a prostitute and it was because it's definitely a repellent to any boy who likes you right? >.<" see my plan here?! And well I tried to escape this guy because I know what he wanted.. Well I was a fresher right? He'd get so much credit for sleeping with me.. :/ so yeah I ran away from him.. but before I did he tried on my neek glasses and OHMYDAYS. He looked like Clarke Kent. I think I must have stopped breathing for a bit. Hahahaha so Guy number 1 is renamed to Superman.
Guy number 2 was also on the same night. This guy I tell you was SHOOOOOOOOOOORT as. I'm probably about 5ft7 with my sky high heels on.. or a bit more ^^ (the magic of heels <3) and he just suddenly grabbed on to me as I was dancing with my housemate! He was sat on the side, legs spread apart as if he was going to birth to a hippo and just caught me! Gahhhhh >.< and well he just launched himself on me too. My housemates said he was eating my face. He probably was. EWW. Well I managed to escape him too... And found my housemates who were pretty much shocked by me? I sincerely apologise for my rancid behaviour.. >.<" but I promise you.. ALCOHOL IS A KILLER! So Guy number 2 is renamed as the Short one.
Guy number 3 rolled up on the saturday after the School themed night. My first Brassick night! Cheap entry, cheap drinks and decent music! ^___~ what else could a fresher ask for?! And seeing as my housemates ditched me.. I went with the boys off my course! And well I dragged one of my boys to the dance floor with me because I think a really good song had come on.. and well a guy, tall, blonde and fit danced near us. I don't know how but he managed to dance really close to me and the next think I knew was that he was dancing with me?! Hands on the waist and everything! >.< and well soon enough.. he pounced. He was actually a pretty decent kisser.. the only thing was that even though he had amazing minty fresh breath.. I didn't really appreciate the chewing gum as we kissed. Hence why his rename is Chewing gum guy! And a little update on him.. I may have freakishly found his fb page and stalked him! >.<" well call me a stalker but WOW he has a six pack. Ultimate jizz.
Errr Guy number 4 is a bit of an awkward one. My boys know him because he lives in the same halls as him. It made life awkward. Well I was initially dancing with some guy who looked like a bit of a rocker... But like who doesn't like a rebel in their life right?! ^___~ haha.. He had a tattoo on his left arm which must've been a spider but because of my beer goggles looked a bit like a pizza... T__T awkward if it was pizza! Haha! And well Guy number 4 managed his way between me and rocker guy and well he also managed to errrr get off with me too! >.<" He was keen. On it like a slag on a car bonnet. But as we were getting off.. ermmm rocker guy seemed to have a fascinating attraction to my bum as he kept on grabbing it and holding my hand... Wow. Risky eh?! And what's more awkward is that I actually have this guy on fb... yeah. Awkward.
Guy number 5 must've been some random at a club.. Yes I can confirm that he was in fact a random. He strutted up to me and was like "Hey babe".. proper manwhore-ish and all like NOM I want action. I told him I was busy and should go... Then he was like come on and went in for the kill. I managed to cockblock him. I was like WOAAAAAAAAAAAAAH bruv. Then he was like I'm sorry. I, in my drunken state was like OH OKAY THAT WAS REALLY CUTE OF YOU TO APOLOGISE SO SINCERELY and then he asked for a kiss on the cheek. Surely that's okay... like you do the posh-kiss-on-both-cheeks greeting.. so I gave him a small little kiss on the cheek. Then he was pointed to his lip. My sex pest alert came on. BEEPBEEPBEEP. I was like if it gets rid of this guy.. I'll give him what he wants.. so I gave him the smallest peck?! Then he claimed it wasn't a real kiss. Like wtf. You do not say that to a girl?! Especially when the girl is extremely drunk so I was like >:0 and kissed him properly. Oh. Alaine you fell for his trick. But he left me alone after that so WOOOOO! And then Guy number 6 is also a random. Most likely a chav. Lets swiftly move on from him...
Guy number 7 is awkwardly a guy off my course... awks... He also used a great chat up line on me! He smoothly slid over to me (who at that time was completely distraught because I was sent a disgusting text and I went to drink to drink away the pains haha as you do >.<) and yeah he said to me "Have you ever heard of Will Harris?" and I was like yeahh I actually have... He was some guy in the year below me at school.. but before I could tell him, he put his hand out and went "Hi, I'm Will Harris"... Oh, NOW I get what he was trying to do! It's actually quite sneaky and clever! So I laughed and he bought me a drink as I laughed at his joke! I did insist that I paid for my own drink as it's not right for me to get a free drink.. and right I was. :/ awks. We ended up talking by the seats and it turns out that I was like 2 weeks older than him so I was a bit of a "cougar" T___T which is NOT cool seeing as that day.. I had only turned 19... and so I guess he was a bit of birthday fun! HAHA! >.<" and well he told me that I was also beautiful and got up, close and personal and BAM. Here we go again >.< then I was like I'm going to go dance to get rid of him.. he offered his dancing services. FUCK. So yeah I end up dancing with him! To Sexy and I know it which I said was one of my favourite songs and he said wow you are modest... But I do agree with a creepy wink ;) and then said that my suspenders were hot to trot on me and told me to wear them forever because I looked so hot. HAHA! The things boys say to get action.. But I then told him I had to go.. which we were doing but the taxi was late and this guy saw us waiting outside and awkwardly said "Oh Alaine, I thought you were leaving..." GAHHHHHH awks. Now I see him in lectures. I think WHY to myself and throw myself on the floor when he looks around. >.<" haha!
Well Guy number 8... This guy is a bit more explicit than the others... And we shall start from the beginning...
Well after Guy number 7.. We got the taxi home and we're always SO SO SO hungry after clubbing so we go to our usual takeaway Di Roma... It was really busy this particular night because it was the weekend of Halloween.. >.< we had to queue up for ages and loads of people walked in and everything.. One of which was two guys in monkey onesies. >.< Well I didn't take much notice of them because I was more interested in the food >:] NOOOOM food ^__^ so as I got my food I was more than happy to leave... But then one of the guys in the monkey onesie was like hey! And it caught me by surprise! I was like hey back to be polite! And then he asked me where I was going.. I said home seeing as it was nearly 4 in the morning and I was ravenous... He told me to stay 5 minutes and talk to him... I was like "What harm can a little chat do?".. clearly wrong again. =____=" and well he told me that he was having a Halloween houseparty at his like on Halloween.. He told me to come as it was better than the clubs that I had been to! I was skeptical.. and suspicious like o.O really?! And he offered me to show the decorations... I was reluctant to go back with him because my housemates had left me.. but he was really nice... and hot! We were chatting as we walked back the 10 metres from the takeaway to his house and I found that he also did economics but he's a second year! I was like OMG I do economics in excitement.. He then proceeded to tell me how he loved his first year and how he went to South Korea in the summmer for summer school!!!!! I was ecstatic at this point... chinaman eye smile ^____^ and was like NO WAY! OMG I WAS SO GONNA GO TO KOREA!!! and he was like no way?!?! We have so much in common! We should get married! And at this point I was like OMG WE SHOULD! And he's in fact 22 years old?? He had a few gap years and stuff... awks but then I realised we were near an alley and joked.. you aren't taking me down an alley to rape me are you?! (Well at this point I had actually managed to drag my housemate's friend to come check this place out) and he was like no! Seriously come look at the decorations! And wow! It looked really good! Turns out he lives with 4 other guys and they had spent like 90 pounds on it! And I was like... :O dumbstruck. (At this point my housemate's friend left me in seek of a warm bed) I was still talking to this guy I just met in a monkey onesie by his door... and it was a tad bit chilly... He noticed and shut the door... Then he was like let's go talk in my room... Wow. I should've seen this one coming. I don't even know why I followed him... And well he walked into his room first and didn't open the lights.. I cockblocked his ideas by switching the light on! HAHAHAHAHA! Ruined all the romantic mood there was... HAHAHAHA! Then he told me to sit on his bed.. so I sat as far on the edge as possible with my chips.. munching away! I told him his bed was very comfy and the conversation escalated to how I slept like a panda.. Which I innocently and genuinely meant... But now I've learnt it has it's sexual innuendo T__T (eats shoots and leaves?? Get it? =__=") and he laughed his pants off :( I was like o.O did I just miss the punchline?! And he just laughed and said he had never heard a girl describe themselves as that.. Damn I'm naive. =____=" and then I told him I was amazing at fifa too! And he challenged me to a battle. The loser. Haha! And I don't know what we talked about but I said it was late and I should go home... and he was like can you give me a kiss before you go? And I was like OH... whilst stuffing my face with a chip.. and went maybe? And quickly changed the conversation to how would he like a chip because they tasted beautiful? And he was like EWWW chips. I have never met a person who's slated chips. I was like WTF!?!?! How dare you?! It's amazing!! And fed him some to tell him what he was missing out on.. He made it sound like he was going to throw up making me laugh loads and then he stole the box and said that I could have them after I kissed him.. I was like oh... So I gave him the tiniest peck in order to save my chips! And the rescue mission failed :/ apparently it didn't count... well he didn't specify! >.<" and he refused to give it back to me and so to change conversation... I commented on how his room smelt beautiful! It smelt like peaches... he was like really?! And I was like BULLSEYE I HAVE HIM DISTRACTED! And then I also commented on how his room is so tidy and everything... But he must've realised what I was trying to do and pestered me a bit more! He was like just one kiss is all I ask for.. And I was like errrr maybe if you tell me what spray you bought for your room?! And he was like what?! Smooth Alaine.. Smooth... =____+" how embarrassing! But he actually told me it was like febreeze! Haha! Keeno! So I ended up having to kiss him.. We got too carried away and he ended up lying on top of me as we made out... Then I was stopped and was like.. Wow it's cold.. I better go home to my radiator... He was like no stay.. let's just get in bed.. I was like oh. And the quick thinking me jumped into his bed and wrapped myself in his duvet whilst he err took off his monkey onesie because he was too "hot"... Oh... >.< he stripped off more than the onesie and errrr jumped into bed naked. I was like OHMYDAYS and hoped he couldnt unroll the duvet won ton I had made to protect myself... Turns out he's strong :( and just slid into bed with me... We may have kissed some more and then he was like I bet I can make you lie on top of me and I was like HA GOOD LUCK I'M HEAVY.. then two seconds later I'm on top. Making out with him some more... He then decided to try his luck... He told me I was the hottest girl he'd ever seen and I told him he was lying and that he probably was a massive player with loads of girls on the go. He wasn't impressed and told me to shush! I made him angry >.< but I was just stating the obvious?! And so I kissed him to apologise... and he was like do you know what would make me feel better? And so I acted innocent as you do and went no? He was like seriously you're beautiful.. and his hands ran down my back to my knickers... and I was like WOAH. Firstly I am still a virgin so ER no way. Secondly I wasn't ready to have sex with a stranger. And thirdly I wasn't wearing nice underwear! So I quickly muttered something about having a bf... He was like oh... He's lucky then to have such a beautiful girl... and I just went along going haha I know right... Then he was like BRB I need the loo... He was like you can go if you want to whilst I'm not here but I want you to stay... And it was like he read my mind.. :/ and I felt guilty for leaving... So I stayed... and pretended to sleep... He came back and was like I want you so badly. I told him I'm not pretty or amazing and that he should go find his gf... He said that he didn't have one and even went through his phone proving his innocence... He was like see I told you! And climbed on top of me to make out... He was like pestering again... this time he was like please just help me do one thing.. Turns out he had got a bit too excited... >.< haha! So we may have gone to second.... Oops? >.< this made him even more horny =___= damn boys! And he went to go down my knickers and I was like woah! Stop babes! And he was like seriously I want to be your bf. I'll make you feel so good. I will fuck your brains out. I promise you I will and all these other sex pest comments... And I was like... No I can't cheat on my "fictional bf"... and he gave up after that... but carried on making out with me... We both got tired.. It was about 7am now... And we were both tired.. So I rolled over to my side and he put his arm under my head holding my left hand so I could sleep and the other around my waist, pulling me close to him and holding my right hand. We fell asleep. It was the nicest spooning ever. It felt so good and safe with him. For one moment I was so happy ^__^ and like felt like it was so romantic.... I woke up to him snoring behind me ear, sleeping on my hair and still wrapped around me! He has the cutest little face when he sleeps! But I had to leave because I hadn't told my housemates and had to do the walk of shame... >.< so I had to gently nudge him off my hair and straddle him to get out! Let's just say he isn't puny.. He's a semi pro rugby player. PHWOARRRRRRRRR. Jizz in my pants. So it was difficult straddling him! I kissed him goodbye and like ran away.. but his front door scared the life out of me. It's proper stiff and I thought he had locked me in. =____=" He had told me to go back for the party where I would've dumped my bf for him so that he could take me back upstairs... But I never went... I wasn't ready to be with him... Everyone says I should've slept with him.. He was hot! And the fact that he let me wear heels and be fully clothed in bed meant he was serious about me! T__T I don't know what to think... Meh. I don't know. :/ So that concludes Guy number 8... renamed duvet guy because of the duvet incident and because that was the best and warmest duvet ever!
Guy number 9 emerged when the perfect square girls came to Hull... Seriously it was one of the weirdest nights out we ever had! >.<" They claim all the guys wanted some asian persuasion.. ;) HAHA maybe they see asians as a bit more exotic than the other races?! So weird! But errrr yeah these two randoms came to chat me up at the bar... ONE HAD A BEARD. Yes a beard. OMG. Like who has a beard at 19?!?!!? T__T I even checked their ID to make sure they weren't being uber paedophiles HAHAHAHAHA and like they ended up clinging on to us for the rest of the night =____=" oh dear! But yeah at one point I left to pee.. seeing as I broke the seal.. DAMN THE SEAL :( it's actually the worst! But yeah I was then stalked by some odd man who wanted me to talk to him but it's like errr my mother taught me well and not to talk to strangers kinda thing so I swiftly ninja hid from this guy and walked out of the toilets through another exit! ^___^ *smugface* NINJA YES?! Hahahahaha and then OMG YEAR 3000 CAME ON. Nothing beats a bit of Busted. Actual jizz in my panties. So I was a tad bit distracted and raved on my onesies on the dance floor to Busted. How hardcore. HAHA! So by the time I had got back to the table my girlies had gone to find me! One actually managed to save a paralytic girl passed on in another toilet and the other had gone in seek of the hero of the paralytic girl... leaving me stranded with the bearded one. =___= awks. Well he asked for a kiss >.< the naive me, a very drunken naive me responded.. awks. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! But I managed to stop him just before everyone returned.. THEN omg. You will never guess what happened. Seriously. OHMYDAYS. I wanted the ground to swallow me up.T___T The guy who harassed me before casually strolled up to our table.. requesting to speak to me. >.<" CRINGE I THOUGHT I HAD LOST HIM FOR FOREVER?!?!!? o.O errrr it was the most socially awkward conversation I had been in... Bearded guy thought he would defend me and say that he was my boyfriend?!?!??!?!?!?! AWKWARD GIRAFFE. Like =___=" I did not need that. Silly bearded man :( trying to use this situation to his advantage!
15.04.12
OH awkward at how I left it there... Well everyone else I managed to kiss wasn't as interesting.. But I managed to kiss an asian guy! He has the same name as me though.. Which makes it quite worrying for me... ahhhhh >.<"
And oh... The snog count went up to 14... Since the start of uni. Can't put in words how I feel about it because do I count as a slag now? GAH. Well I'm sorry Baby Jesus, please forgive me... >.<"
