I did have a quiet moment today where I thought about us again. I remembered how you cooked for us that time when we were all super hungry. You were cooking at like 3 in the morning and I was watching you and spent my time in the kitchen with you as you were our "mommy" for the night. It seems like crazy that for a lazy crackhead like you, you can actually cook. Then I remembered the first actual time you spoke to me properly. How I couldn't pronounce your name properly.. "What do you call it when you are doing the subject art? Do-art=Duarte" you weird ass guy with a weird ass name. Then one random night, you came with me and G to get more alcohol. I remember saying how you actually opened up and talked to us instead of being all silent and mysterious and you replied it was because you felt like you were starting to know us and were becoming more comfortable around us. Then you made fun of me for the first time... I grabbed my purse and you were like "omg even your purse is so girly and asian! Its Hello kitty!" Cheeky! You must have already had made some kind of judgment on what kind of person I was already.... Then I remember during that same week of drinking and bumming about, we went around to yours again. This time we were playing drinking games again and this was a crazy night. I remember how I stole your cigarettes for some stupid reason or another and I would be your "secretary" or whatever it was you called me. I was in charge of when you would have a cigarette haha. When you would smoke too fast, I would stop you and you would try the doe eyed, puppy face look with me but I can be ruthless too and refused. I think this is also the night you first tried to teach me how to use your lighter... You had grabbed my hand to teach me. You even held my hand as I was trying to light. I was too afraid I would burn myself so I refused to, but I really liked having you close by and near me and holding my hand, so I guess I played it dumb a bit so I could enjoy the moment more. That night we sat dead close together. Our legs were touching and we were both leaning towards each other as gravity seemed to have suddenly slipped between the both of us... Then at one point, you got up and came back sat in another seat.. I remember glaring at you like "bitch where do you think you're going without mah permission?!" And without any complaints you obediently came back and said maybe I wanted space. Bitch please. You were my radiator for the night! I remember you also got up to go to the toilet or something and sat on the opposite sofa again. I was like "FINE. Whatever." And I then realised I still had your cigarettes... And so I tried blackmailing you with them and it didn't work, you heartless person! Then I complained I was cold and needed you, so you were like come over here then! Neither of us wanted to back down! Meh. Eventually after our stare-off and pretending we didn't care.. I slid next to you and you looked so smug for winning. You also grabbed my phone that night and took loads of pictures of us on my phone..! Hahahaha we look like such losers! I'm pouting while you're pulling a retarded duck face. But you left early that night because I think you had to skype with your sister or someone from back home. You missed out on our early morning Tescos antics... Such good memories.
I guess this is where it all blossomed from. I do miss those days when everything was simple and nothing meant anything. There were no labels and no pressure. Easy peasy. I do miss you still. You are still my radiator and I wish you were here to keep me warm. You were always so warm blooded and my poor circulation meant my hands were always freezing cold like an ice queen. You never let me stay cold and warmed me up some way or another... Sometimes it was like we were Ying and Yang, like it meant we were never bored of each other, then sometimes we are freakishly similar.. The way we both went to kick C's ass at the same time, the way only we were the only two people who had an orgasm over marmite, the way we both would know what each other would want but try to have a mental battle over it. Ha. I miss those days...
