Well today has been quite eventful.

I woke up today to find you in the kitchen...

Excuse me?! I was pretty shocked to see that out of all people YOU were in my kitchen.. I was surprised you were even awake at that time. 

But then I guess you would do anything to get your hands on some "vegetables" as you call it.

With my super bed hair and slob pyjamas, I'm pretty sure my mouth kind of dropped like it would in a comic, into a round kind of like O shape. 

I thought you had left seeing as I had wondered in and out from the bathroom but nope, you were stood there leaning against the worktop. Stupidly, you were also stood in front of the kettle I was looking for.

EUGHHHHHHHH stupid kettle! Why weren't you in your original place?! Fml.

Then A said maybe it was behind you and that, I think, was the first time we had some sort of interaction, other than the retarded "Hi"'s that I breathe out to greet you. Then as I was dealing with the kettle, C came back with what you wanted. I wanted you to stay. I wanted you to grab me and be like, "look, we need to talk" but yet again, nothing. Are you ever going to talk to me? Or shall we just carry on with this cat and mouse game and I'll carry on avoiding you like the plague and you smoke your way to your smoker's paradise?

You then made your leave when we were both awkwardly third wheels for C and A, and you walked home in the snowy weather. I watched as your figure slowly disappeared in the whiteness.. You were probably just being careful about the snow, but I thought you were walking slowly deliberately to catch my attention... Ha. Like that would ever happen right?

Anyway, I went to see the house for D and I had planned to go see it with G but I had already told her the time so I left without her when she was late. It was like a fucking blizzard out there. I could have been in the North Pole for all I had known. Snowflakes were going up my nose, into my eyes and choking me as I opened my mouth to breathe. I finally got to the property and viewed and came home and checked my phone. I was kind of pissed that she wasn't on time and didn't read her texts. I texted her later and was like "yeah i went without you, you cockroach" and she replied with one of the bitchiest responses ever. I was not expecting this kind of bitchiness at ALL. She was the one who promised me to go and she was late too... And I'm sorry it's impossible to hold my phone and text with mittens whilst I try not to slip over in the fucking snow storm. But her response was immature and called me rude? Excuse me who the fuck was late? And I did want you to come, but you were the one who was fucking late. I apologised for waking you up, even though you have NOTHING to do at all. But then you had to take this further with your fucking attitude. "Whatever", "it doesn't matter" and lastly, "no big deal don't kill yourself over it". Wow really? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS YOUR ISSUE? Excuse me? I would never kill myself over something as petty as that and if it didn't matter then why the fuck were you so fucking bitchy about it?

This really showed your true colours.

Never again will I do something out of my way for you.

Really, I'm being serious now. We can be friends where there's no emotions involved.

I'm always there for you and you let me the fuck down, time after time.

You always take the piss out of me for crying, you always try to compete with me for some random reason... WHY?! I don't want to compete with you. Just leave me alone. You're never fucking grateful for all the things I do for you and you talk about me behind my back. Yay. Great friend you are.

I fucking try my hardest to help you and you've barely done anything to help me. You just make me feel like shit all the time. Especially with the whole "me and diesel" situation. 

"You're never going to change him. All the boys know this. They all talk about it. You guys were never going to last."

Then when stuff happened, I would be upset but you wouldn't talk through things with me, you would just let me cry. You weren't there when I needed you the most. But why am I always here for you when you need me? Then you tease me for being this way and not over him. Why couldn't you just be honest and tell me important stuff like if he didn't like me or he made some comment? Why do you hide things from me?

Well for all I know, my heart died a little bit today when you said that.

We're supposed to be friends. But why do I feel like shit all the time with you around?

I'm going to stop competing with you. I'm tired with your fakeness and bullshit around other people. Just be yourself.

My day of awkwardness didn't end there.

Seeing as the snow settled, I wanted a snowball fight. Considering that we have the boys just 50 metres away... Surely it would be fun? The answer is always no.

Apparently, only you were sat in the living room by yourself when we came and ambushed your house. We threw snowballs at everyone's windows and you all actually seemed quite pissed off and weren't playful. We were bored and just wanted to have some fun in the snow... Who ate your sense of humour?! Someone then came to open the door and nobody had a clue who it was, so we pelted the door with snowballs, then as I was in midthrow, you appeared and like kryptonite, my arm kind of dropped and lost the energy and the snowball fell to the ground. I think the O shaped mouth struck again as I was stood there in awe. You then threatened us with some mouldy milk and told us to go away. We carried on throwing snowballs at you and left when we didn't manage to get you all running out in rage for a snowball fight.

I was pretty much on adrenaline after I saw you stood there. My heart must have stopped for a few beats as the realisation that the figure opening the door was you. Everyone must have saw how I froze. SO FUCKING AWKWARD. Eugh. Why am I always caught red handed?!

Eugh. 

I had imagined for you all to come out and play and that I would be able to throw snowballs at you and sort of break the tension that we have between us, but unfortunately you didn't. I was hoping that you would come chasing after me as I threw snowballs at you and that you would rugby tackle me to the ground and I would make you eat snow... But I guess it was just wishful thinking. You're probably never going to play and be stupid with me again. Like I remembered the reason why I was taped to E again. It was because I thought it would be a great idea to tape you in the toilet? I thought that maybe my plan would go SO well, that you would fall for the trick and accidentally walk into the duct tape and get ambushed by it. Unfortunately, you didn't fall for it and managed to get revenge. It was really fun that night, you kept apologising and was like "I'm sorry" when I wasn't even angry at you, I was only teasing.

That was when I became comfortable around you.

It only seems like it happened yesterday, but I guess it's all in the past now.