Why is it so hard getting over someone? Why does it feel like shit? I just want to either get completely over you or have the courage to tell you how I feel. There must be something wrong with me.

Are you already messaging or texting someone else? Or have you already kissed or slept with someone else? Eugh I wish I could too. I was at your house for the first time since I've been back. It felt weird. I'm always drawn to your room. Like it's a mystery and I want to know what you're doing. I actually find comfort in your room. It will always be a place where I can always fall asleep. Although I would barely sleep at yours or when I was around you, I would be happy and smiling.

I keep thinking about what we could have been if we stayed together... But apparently I'm not lucky enough to have that. Like if I was bored now, I would be messaging you. My heart would fill with butterflies and I would always wait a few minutes before replying, just to seem less keen. But apparently I must have been or why would you suddenly fuck me over like that for? You clearly had time to think about it. You already told me we weren't right once, why did you do it again? Shame on me for being a fool and letting you back in, but I didn't know you were planning to hurt me again. Argh. Why am I constantly thinking about us? Why can't you just tell me you're sorry? Why can't you tell me why you did it? Why can't you tell me that you miss me? Why can't we just get back together and you keep me company for the semester? Even if we're not romantically together, can't we be friends like how I am with the rest of the boys? Come back into my life in some way please.