I'd like to think I'm a simple girl. Okay, I might be kinda dorky and a bit "dim" in some aspects and I may be vertically challenged and probably have the fat:muscle ratio of a juicy japanese cow that is bred to be the most tender and sensational tasting steak EVER... >.<" but I have a big heart and a whole lot of loving to give. >.<"
I'd also like to think I'm not that demanding... Okay I lie. I'm a female and so therefore born to be a BIT of a diva once in a while ;) BUT I'm definitely NOT (the emphasis is on the not) like Kim Kardashian style of high maintenance T___T thats just way too ridiculous! I have expectations and wants too. Like a normal person. A normal person who likes to knit and drinks tea religiously at 9am sharp every morning whilst watching daybreak or something.. O.o actually no.. That's too normal for me... But still! Is it bad I want a perfect pair of boobs?! Or if I want flawless skin that is so flawless I look like im permanently photoshopped? Or if I want long, luscious hair with a wonderful waistline that never expanded, regardless of how many big macs I stuffed down my pie hole?! Or a pair of seducingly long legs? >.<" if I could I also have a tiny dream that I've never really experienced.. That dream is what they call "love". Or as the young'uns say nowadays.. The "soppy-old-fashioned-feeling-you-might-get-if-you're-a-prick" =__="
I just want someone who understands me and the gibberish that sometimes falls out of my mouth. Somebody who can handle my flaws and my kooky, weird trail of thoughts and my 4D personality. >.<" A person who I feel comfortable of pooing with the door open and asking if my poo smelt like little unicorns and fairies were prancing around! ^__^ and someone who will appreciate me when I am my true self. Like if I was a turtle, I would want the person to see me without my shell...
But atm I feel like I don't have any of these. I am a 32A girl, slightly blind like a bat, frizzy hair that I fake is luscious through 4 hour hair treatments, literally stumps for legs.. I may as well have ham hocks for legs.. =__=" and I currently have spots spread across my face like nappy rash. T__T fun. Oh and I have only ever had a bf who lasted approximately 2 weeks but then I dumped him cos I thought I didn't like him. LOL jokes cos I did still like him and regret it to this day. Gahhh. And well now I'm endlessly waiting for this fool of a boy. He has me like captivated in a love cage. I try to escape but its like mission impossible. :( I find it pathetic that I have left myself in this situation for so long... Like wow, it will literally be a year since I found myself attracted to you. I wait for you to talk to me, I freak the crap out of myself when I see pictures of you with others, I feel as if you are ashamed of telling people about me, I feel like I like you so much more than you like me. Wait, do you even like me? >.< I overthink and I get so paranoid to the extent, I literally burst into tears and bawl like a baby when I'm just sat there. >.<" WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! Seems like I can't get over the flirtatious "thing" we had. But tbh when I look back on the past year, I have been so emotionally unstable that all the cute things you have ever done, seem to disappear and fade away as quick as like when there's a 50% off sale at Selfridges. I don't think any girl deserves this. Sure I'm a bit of a whore but, I, like the other 3 billion females in this world, don't deserve to be treated so coldly by anyone. Listening to Fergie's Big Girls Don't Cry, I shed a few tears (who am I kidding, my eyes were so swollen after my crying sesh) and well i decided enough was enough. I am a lady with dignity. Although I may have flashed my beautiful Bridget Jones-esque panties to the world, I have my dignity and self respect. I refuse to wallow in my own shit anymore (sorry, mr pigs out there who do this for a living D:) and I am putting a stop to my unrequited love. A crush is a crush. Bit you will no longer stop me from finding Prince Charming. Mr Heart, you just need to grow a little bigger and be proud and act brave when a wave of emotions are thrown at you okay? Even if you waver a little back, please put your best poker face on like your life depended on it okay? And you Mr Brain, you just put on some trakkies and cotch to Friends or something. Or take up choir singing or cooking classes >.< do something useful! You ARE a big girl now and you're doing it for yourself okay? FIGHTING LAH SOR MUI! ^__^''最多我請你吃冰淇淋啦?okay!?
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