Please tell me you weren't being serious when you told G you weren't going to be here next year..

Just wtf. This isn't funny.

I didn't even know.

Why aren't you going to be here?

Why are you going to be back in Portugal?

I thought you're staying and living with the boys next year?!

Omg. I don't understand.

I don't want to.

I just want to be by your side no matter what. I want to be there for you if you need me. I want to be near you because you're the only one who makes me feel calm and comfortable, yet excited and nervous at the same time. I just want to be there holding your hand or making you smile.

I don't need anything from you.

I don't need expensive gifts. I just need you to let me sleep and cuddle next to you. I don't need you to be like a slave for me. I just need you to be "you" with me. I don't need 24/7 attention. I just need a text or two a day, telling me what you've been up to. I don't need us to have a label. I just need you to look only at me and get a little jealous when my supposed "male fan club" consisting of tall Caucasian guys with yellow fever.

For once, I actually want to rewind back time to how we were and work out our issues.

I rarely regret but you are turning into one of the biggest regrets.

I wish we had tried.

I really miss you.

I should be over you, I was definitely in the process of deleting you from my brain, but after seeing you yesterday so unexpectedly, just told me how much I'm not over you. I clearly still miss you or why would I run away from you?

KSVFHJSDHFGALSHFSDUGVKA.

I don't remember you ever looking so rough during the six weeks we were "together"..

Except for the times we didn't talk. The time you were ill when you came to talk to me. The times when we had serious talks. And now. You don't look like you have enough sleep and you smoke way too much now. Fucking quit smoking and sleep will you?